Most parents deny and/or cannot even comprehend that the molestation could be done by to their child, and may even scold the child for being the conduit or the reason for the abuse. In some cases of parental child molestation, the abusing parent is more about the abuse of power and the preying on the innocence of a child. It is devastating for a family to have to come to grips with the realization that one member is an abuser; and that the child was the object of abuse. Outside intervention is necessary for healing to even begin. Extensive psychological sessions for both the parent and the child need to be done.
Most often, the child will feel that it is his/her fault that the abuse has happened and will even try to make amends to make things “work” so that harmony can be restored in the family. It is the psychiatrist’s role to intervene and make the child realize that she is innocent in what happened. There will be emotional scarring for both the child, the affected parent, and the family. Counseling will be a long process, and the approach is going to be three fold: Individual counselling; Group counseling, and integration into the family setting. Family support and unwavering love is most important during this very stressful and painful time. Each aggrieved party will need each other for support. Let me/us emphasize that it is NOT the child’s fault that the abuse or the molestation happened. They were the victims. Denial of the abuse is not going to help; and neither will displacing the blame on someone else other than the perpetrator, will. Most of the time, this is where the source of the hurt will lie, and if not addressed immediately; it will fester and break down the bonds of family.
Draw strength from peers; from support groups; and if it helps, in prayer. Anything to keep your sanity. Acceptance, and moving on is a very subjective process, but if one isn’t in a state of openness, then it will be difficult to transition back to a life of peace and harmony.
Iyanla Vanzant said, “You must be ready in mind, body and spirit before you can make a change. People cannot convince you to do it. You cannot force yourself to do it… In the meantime, you will not be ready until you are ready.”
oiradmin November 30th, 2016
Posted In: blog
As much as the holidays are ideally seen as the most relaxing season of the year, some people think otherwise. For them, the holidays is the most stressful season because of the many things to do and events to attend to. Sometimes, it is these very things that serve as triggers for those who are sensitive to certain topics and/or events.
Here are a few notes on what depressive triggers you should look out for and what measure you should take to avoid relapse.
One of the most common triggers are family gatherings. Instead of feeling happy that everyone is together, sometimes the very thought makes you feel depressed. It creates a more negative effect if you have a family member that is toxic or says/does something unfavorable or if family events are daunting. However, you can work around this by not expecting the worst, making a game plan and giving yourself a limit.
Another trigger is the over-commercialization of the holidays. This may seem to be an unusual reason but it does happen especially if you are the type who get easily anxious when you know that there is so much to buy for your loved ones but have so little money and time. Stop right there and breathe! Don’t you think that there’s more to Christmas than getting the perfect gifts? Why not take the time and opportunity to spend time with them or go back to the traditions and beliefs that had made you look forward to the season? It’s high time that we bring back the real spirit.
One trigger that’s hard to get over is commitment – or rather over-commitment. People simply love to say yes, however, when they could not meet it, they start getting depressed. It is important to know that there is nothing wrong to saying NO once in a while. And if you think that it is only valid if you have a good reason, better think again. You don’t need a reason to say no.
Finally, the most triggering factor during the holidays are the financial woes. From gift buying to the bills, there is so much to be done and to spend for. Why not stop for a moment. Yes, the bills need to be paid but is every single utility that important for the holiday season? What about the gifts? Do you think these gifts are that important or do they really come from the heart? You have to remember that you need to put yourself and your survival first before buying that expensive gift for a relative. However, if you really want to meet both ends, budgeting your money and canvassing is the best way to go.
oiradmin November 13th, 2016
Posted In: Uncategorized